


refresh

by sundae_serenade



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Sexual Humor, they're both idiots, this came from a meme idk what to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28387068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundae_serenade/pseuds/sundae_serenade
Summary: Red asks a very important question.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	refresh

Green’s day begins as it often does; his phone chimes with a notification that startles him out of sleep, and he maneuvers a hand over to the nightstand to pick it up. Normal people have their phones off completely or set to do not disturb while sleeping, but not Green, who has friends in every region of the world. Too many of them frequently forget how time zones work. While Green is thankful to be given a direct link to newly published journals and receiving the latest news and gossip, _sleep_ is important too, thanks.

Two people in Green’s life continue to pay no head to his adamant insistence that whatever it is can wait until noon. Two people who Green _can’t_ block on his phone, because they’ll blow up Red’s phone, and then Red will throw his phone into the ocean. And _how_ will Green be able to contact his husband then? He won’t.

So.

Green’s day begins with a notification chime from none other than Gold. It’s eight in the morning in Alola. It’s three in the morning of the next day in Johto. Why is Gold up at three in the morning? He’s probably drunk and wanting to annoy Green specifically.

 **Gold** : he y

 **Gold** : watch this hey green wathc this

 **Gold** : green

 **Gold** : watch

And then there’s a link.

It leads to a video that shows two random people Green doesn’t know dancing to a song Green doesn’t know at a location Green doesn’t know, and _why was this sent to him at eight in the morning?!_

 **Green:** Gold, I’m going to kill you when I see you next.

 **Gold** : he y

 **Gold** : green did u watch

 **Gold** : DID U SEE THE LILLIPUP IN THE BAK

Green mutes the conversation and drops his phone on the floor. He knows from experience that no matter how long he lays in bed, he won’t be able to get back to sleep. He may as well get up.

Red isn’t in bed with him. He’s already up and about, made for the morning and all the headaches it brings. Green can hear sounds coming from the kitchen, footsteps going back and forth in the hall that are trying to be quiet and somewhat succeeding. The pitter patter of paws follows and Green counts eight paws touching the floor. He turns and sees that the bed is empty save for him. Eevee left him too, huh.

Tiredly, so tiredly, Green rubs his hands down his face and remembers that it’s Saturday, and to make matters worse, the song that’d played on Gold’s video is stuck in his head. He drags himself out of bed and starts the day at eight-thirty like some kind of human being.

Red’s already made breakfast and he’s sitting down to eat. He looks up in surprise at seeing Green emerge from their bedroom at an hour before ten.

Green heads toward the coffee maker, priorities in order. “Gold texted me,” he offers as explanation.

Red looks at him with sympathy.

“Why doesn’t he text you? You’re up at this time anyway,” Green asks. It’s so early, he’s not even _hungry._ Further proof he isn’t meant to be up at this hour. It’s wrong of him. It’s a disservice to himself.

Red shrugs because he honestly doesn’t know why, and knowing Red, he’ll probably text Gold and tell him to lay off. Unfortunately for Red’s sweet intentions, Gold’s _drunk_ and won’t remember or adjust his behavior in any way whatsoever. Green knows from experience.

Green leans on the counter as he waits for his coffee, contemplating life. Eevee comes up to him and nudges his foot. Green can’t even muster the energy to greet her. He looks down at her, hoping that his expression is enough. It’s not. She gets fed up at not getting pets and goes to get them from Red instead.

Red tells Green to sit by motioning to the empty kitchen chair beside his own, but Green waves him off. He sluggishly grabs a mug, the jar of sugar, and the cream. It’s a dangerous game handling liquids and fragile glass containers first thing in the morning, but Green comes out of it all right. He put too much sugar in, but he needs to perk up anyway.

Green sits down at the table and takes that first beautiful sip of bitter salvation. It’s not even a second before another sip follows, and then another long drink. Green slowly begins to feel more like himself.

Red’s eating cereal for breakfast. He twists the spoon in his nearly empty bowl, half-open eyes taking in Green’s terrible appearance. He keeps his comments to himself because he fucking knows better. They eat together quietly, which they do sometimes. Green, obviously, drives the conversations, but his brain isn’t quite there yet this morning, so it’s nothing but the sound of pikipek’s outside and Pikachu and Eevee playing with a toy in the living room.

As Green finishes his coffee and reaches over to steal Red’s glass of water from him, he frowns as the lyrics to that terribly catchy song circle around in his head again. Sometimes, the best way to get a song out of one’s head is to sing it, so Green does just that, mumbling the words under his breath. He reaches the chorus and takes another sip of cold water to help with the ‘being awake’ thing.

“Can I give you a rimjob?” 

Green spits out the entire drink of cold water _all over_ the kitchen table, some of it coming out of his nose, all of it making a complete mess of the place. He covers his mouth with a hand as if that’ll do anything now, and then he starts coughing, the absurdity of Red’s question making him question if he’s actually awake or if this whole morning is actually a lucid dream.

Must not be, because Red’s frantically grabbing paper towels off the counter and cleaning the table while Green keeps trying to cough up a lung. When he can actually breathe and his eyes aren’t clenched shut in pain and exasperated surprise, he looks at Red with nothing but confusion on his face. “What are you talking about?” And then again, because once isn’t enough. “What are you _talking_ about.”

Red tosses the dirty paper towels into the trash. He leans against the counter. His brows are furrowed, but not in anger, in more of a sheepish way. For fuck’s sake. “Please, I—please, can I do it—“

 _“Red,”_ Green interrupts. He leaves it there, because he needs…time to process this, as much as can be afforded. It’s way too early in the morning for whatever this is.

 _“Green,”_ Red stresses back in that way he does. He looks so desperate, too.

“You’re fucking ridiculous! You already—“

“Just _let me—!”_

“You already _have!”_ Green nearly shouts, raising his voice above Red’s. He must look frantic and awful with the way he’s gripping the sides of the table, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. _How_ is this a conversation they’re having three years into marriage? How is this happening? Why is it happening, and why _today_ of all days?

Red’s stunned by Green’s words, taken aback one might say by the way he stares cluelessly at his husband.

Green settles back in his seat, rubbing his eyes again. “You already have.”

Terrifically put in his place by three words, Red smoothly eases back into his seat and stares at Green. He bites his lip, looking down at the floor before glancing up again. “When…?”

“Two days ago!” Green hisses.

It’s news to Red, who apparently doesn’t know the definition of a rimjob. How is that possible with the amount of times they’ve— _Red_ was the one who first suggested doing it years ago! Whatever. This is now Green’s job. It’s now his responsibility to educate his husband on something they’ve both done countless times.

Green stares at his coffee mug with disdain. He would’ve put some vodka in it if he’d known his morning would turn out like this.

Red’s staring down at the kitchen table, recalling their night two days ago when he most definitely had given Green a rimjob and more. But when he looks up at Green, there are still some clouds in those skies. “But that’s not what we call—“

“It’s another word for it,” Green explains, following Red’s trail of thought. “And that’s what you did two days ago.”

Red blinks. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Green’s face is permanently in his hands as he takes deep breaths. That stupid song is still in his head, which is miraculous and speaks to the catchiness of the tune if it can withstand the whole rollercoaster of Red not knowing he’s been giving rimjobs for years and only just found out.

“Answer the question.”

Green lifts his head, squints his eyes. “Wha?”

Red’s leaning an elbow on the table, his chin resting in his palm. He licks his lips. “Can I give you a rimjob?”

…

Green comes to the decision that this particular Saturday morning could do with a restart. He stands up, looks pointedly at Red and mutters, “later” under his breath, and then walks down the hall back to the bedroom. He knows he has trouble getting back to sleep, but dammit, he’ll find a way today. That conversation sucked all the energy he gained from his coffee.

But before Green can collapse on the bed and forget this morning happened, he grabs his phone off the floor and returns to the kitchen. He places his phone on the table in front of a rather shocked Red, and then takes off again, closing the door behind him.

The video wasn’t even funny.

**Author's Note:**

> once again, memes


End file.
